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Is it bad?”“Very bad.” said Skylar.Riley seconded that. “Oh yes. You’ve been a bad, bad boy. Teehee.” she giggled. “Would you like to be bad with me?”“Riley! I saw him first.” Skylar protested.“But I was ready first.” Riley countered.“Jason! Do both of us.”“But me first.”This was getting a bit too much. I hadn’t a clue what they were talking about. It must have been something I did today in my sexual haze. Another girl showed up. This one was topless wearing a towel around her waist and scolded the two who were just talking to me.“Riley! Leave the poor boy alone.”“Do you know who this is, Addison?” Riley replied.“Who?”“Jason. The one in The Program this week.”Addison looked at me.“Then you should treat him better. Hi, Jason. My name is Addison. I’m the captain of the squad. I’m sorry the girls aren’t treating you very nicely.”“But we were treating him real good.” Skylar said.“Pay no attention to them.”“What are they talking about? Why are they all talking about me like that?”“Is it. Most of baseball has the designated hitter rule, which means that the pitcher does not have to make any plate appearances, and can be replaced in the batting order by someone who can outhit an 85-year-old. It was introduced in the American League when Bowie Kuhn was Commissioner, which makes sense, because Kuhn was an utter disaster in every possible way. He thought that the designated hitter would increase the number of home runs, thus making baseball more interesting. He was wrong. Making the pitcher go to the plate and attempt to hit the baseball adds comedic value to what is otherwise a very boring game.Gaylord Perry was a very good pitcher. He even made the Hall of Fame with his pitching. As is the case with any great pitcher, he was an utterly terrible hitter. There’s a stat called OPS+ which measures how good someone is at hitting. An average major league batter has an OPS+ of 100. Perry had a lifetime OPS+ of -10. That makes him 110% worse than a typical hitter. He was so bad.
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